Neurotically Yours
by Charlotte Cullen
Summary: What happens when everything in Bella's life gets turned upside down? Edward's gone and Jacob seems to not want to be her friend anymore. Will Bella be pushed so far that she does something that will ruin her life forever? New Moon spoilers!
1. The Beginning of the End

**This is a new fanfiction that I got the idea for while I was in the shower. I haven't seen anything like this on fanfiction yet so hopefully you will like it. This is a Bella and Edward story even though Edward doesn't come into the picture until much later. Takes place in the middle of New Moon. Jacob is already a werewolf, but Bella never went cliff diving. This scene takes place instead of the cliff diving scene that is in the book. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this story plot. All credit for everything else should go to the gorgeous Stephenie Meyer. **

**This chapter is called: _The Beginning of the End_**

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I was walking down the stairs when I noticed that Charlie was still home, and sitting in the den watching a game.

"Dad, I'm heading over to Jake's. Be back later"

I didn't wait for him to reply. I grabbed my keys off the hook by the door and walked outside to my truck. I opened the door and got in. I started the engine and drove off.  
I had just reached the city limits of La Push when it got hard to breathe. Panic overtook me and I had to pull over. I sat in the cab shaking, wishing that I hadn't come, when someone tapped on my window. Jacob.

I reached over and opened the other door so that he could get in. Jacob had a stern look on his face. He looked more grown up and more serious than I had ever seen him. This wasn't the Jacob I knew.

I opened my mouth to say something but Jacob beat me to it.

"What are you doing here Bella?" his voice was cold, and every word he said was laced with acid.

"I came to see my best friend." I said in a low whisper. I couldn't match his acidic tone.

"Bella you need to leave, I'm not supposed to see you." For just a moment a hint of the old Jacob reappeared in his voice.

"Why aren't you supposed to see me Jake?" The thought of not being able to see Jacob sent my heart into palpitations.

"It's dangerous Bella."

"Jake how could you be dangerous?"

"I can't tell you Bella. I wish I could but I can't." Jacob's hand reached for the door handle. "Bella please leave"

He got out of the car and shut the door, only to come around to my side. He rested his arms on my window and looked me in the eye.

"Bella," he whispered. "please you have to go. It's for your own good I promise. I will come see you when I can, but for now please just go."

A tear started down my cheek and he brushed it away with his smooth warm fingers. His hand lingered on my face for a moment and then he backed away from the car. I started the ignition and turned the truck around. I drove down the dirt road leaving Jacob behind waving to me as I went.

When I got home Charlie was still sitting in his chair watching the game.

"Hey Dad?" I called from the kitchen. "What do you want for supper?"

"Anything you want Bella. It doesn't matter."

"Okay." I called back to him. Fish and Chips it is.

I was trying to be creative in finding new ways to make fish. So in giving up on America for help, I turned to Great Britain. I wonder if Charlie had ever had fish and chips before?

I walked out to the freezer to get the fish and a bag of french fries a.k.a "chips". I didn't have a deep fryer so I decided not to make my own chips.

I cut the fish into strips and set them aside to make the batter. I mixed flour with salt and baking soda with vinegar. Then I added the two mixtures together and stirred it until it was smooth.

I decided it wouldn't take that long to fry the fish so I took out a pan and set the oven on 375 degrees. Then I put the fries on the pan and put them into the oven.

Now it was time to work on the fish. I dipped five pieces of fish into the batter and put them into the pan. When they were done I took them out and set them on a plate. Then I did five more pieces so that there would be enough for both Charlie and I. When they were done I put them with the others and took the fries out of the oven.

I got out two plates, one for Charlie and one for myself, and put half the fish and chips on Charlie's plate and the other half on mine. Then got out two forks, two glasses, and napkins and set the table. As soon as I filled the glasses with water I called Charlie to come eat.

When he sat down he eyed the fish and chips skeptically. Then he looked up at me.

"Bella, what is this?"

I laughed a little before answering him.

"It's fish and chips Dad"

"Oh." He said and then he took a bite.

"Wow Bella, this is really good. It tastes like Harry Clearwater's fish fry." He smiled at me as he said this.

"Well I am glad you like it."

We ate the rest of dinner with little conversation and then I cleaned up the dishes while Charlie watched the game.When I was done I went up to my room and started on my homework. We hadn't been assigned much so it didn't take very long for me to finish.

When I finsihed my homework I decided to go take a shower. It didn't take nearly as long as I hoped it would though. So when I was back in my room I turned on my out-of-date computer and waited patiently for the Internet to start. When it finally did I answered my mothers e-mails she had sent me and then went on the hunt to find new recipes for fish.

I did a google search and found a few promising recipes that I would have to test on Charlie; fried fish tacos, twice fried fish, steamed tuna fish,and grilled striped bass with garlic and basil.

I got tired of looking at pictures of fish and it wasn't quite time for bed yet so I flipped off the computer switch and walked over to my book shelf. I gazed at what few books I had and finally gave up on reading. All of the books I owned were romances.

Tonight I was just going to have to go to sleep early. I went down stairs and told Charlie goodnight. Then I walked back to my room and layed down in my bed.

Nothing interesting happened over the next few weeks. I went to school and work. Then I came home and cooked dinner for Charlie, did my homework and went to bed. On the weekends I worked as much as possible so that I wouldn't have to spend my days alone.

Jacob never called and he never came over. I called over there a few times but Billy would always tell me that he was out or sleeping. Then they quit answering the phone. I slowly slipped back into the depressed state that I had been in before. The nightmares returned and I woke up screaming ever night.

Charlie stated to see that I was slipping back into that numb state. He was worried about me and I could tell. I wasn't surprised that he wanted to talk to me one day after supper. I was already in a bad mood because Mike asked me out again today at work, and I was getting a little agitated at Charlie.

Charlie was getting angry and started to blame Edward for my depression.

"Bella you wouldn't be like this if Edward hadn't left you in the forest all by your self and told you he didn't love you."

I started to interrupt him but he spoke again before I could get a word out.

"And another thing. You wouldn't have almost died last year if it wouldn't have been for Edward. He caused all that mess about you going to Phoenix. I didn't think he was good for you from the start. All he caused you was pain." Charlie was red in the face and extremely mad. All that Charlie said to me caused me to feel the first feeling I had had in a long time, extreme anger.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was so sick of lying and having Charlie think about Edward the way he did. I wasn't thinking straight or being rational in any way. I didn't think before I spoke. I was so upset about Edward and Jacob that I couldn't keep the words in my mouth and I didn't realize what I had said until it was too late.

"Dad, it's not Edward's fault!! Do you want to know why Edward left me and why I went to Phoenix last year!!?? DO YOU!!!!!!!!!????? It wasn't because I was afraid of putting roots down in Forks. Edward may not love me anymore but he left me also because he thought he was to dangerous for me. That he was risking my life. Keeping me from living a normal human life." I was almost out of breath when I was done speaking and my face was red.

"Bella, what the hell do you mean by human???!!" Charlie yelled.

"What I mean Dad is that Edward and his family aren't human!!! THEY ARE VAMPIRES!!!!!!!!!" I gasped, closed my mouth and covered it with my hand. What on earth have I done?

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**Well that's chapter one! I hope that you liked it. Please review!!**


	2. Damn Regret

**Yay! Chapter 2! Sorry it has been so long since I updated this story. I am also sorry that this chapter is short. **

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer which means I don't own anything.**

**This chapter is called: Damn Regret by: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**

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"Bella, can you please tell me exactly what you told your father about you boyfriend?" said Dr. Sandra Cartmen.

"I don't need to talk to a shrink. I'm perfectly sane." I retorted.

"Honey that isn't what your father thinks and if he has a concern then obviously there is something wrong. I'm not saying that you were lying. All I need is for you to tell me. Your father already told me so I know what you said. I just need to hear it from you, please dear. It would make things so much easier if you would just tell me"

"Fine. I told him that Edward and his family are vampires. Now what else do you need to know Doc?" I said with anger.

"That's all dear. Now I am going to need to talk to your father alone for a minute. If you could go get him and then wait for us outside the office." she said still being sweet. She had already decided I was crazy. Of course to anyone who wasn't "in the know" I would sound a little crazy.

"Sure thing lady." I said, as I rose to leave. I walked out of the door to the office and Charlie automatically got up upon seeing me.

"The shrink wants to speak alone with the father of the crazy girl." I said smugly.

"Oh Bella honey please don't be that way. It's going to be alright." Yeah sure Dad I thought as I took a seat in the waiting room chairs. They were very uncomfortable and ugly to boot. I waited impatiently outside for the resurfacing of my father figure who had made me come here in the first place. When he finally made it out of her office his face was very somber. He came over to where I was sitting and sat down in the chair beside of me.

"Bella honey I have something I need to tell you." He didn't say anything else after that because his voice broke and he started crying. I took him a minute to recollect himself and when he did he told me the worst news I could have ever heard.

"Bella, Dr. Cartmen thinks that it would be best if we had someone who is a trained professional watch over you for a while. There is a very nice institution that we are going to send you to, called St. Paul's. It is a very nice institution and I think"

"You're sending me to a institution!? Dad no why would you do this to me?!?!?" I said as I broke down in tears. A metal hospital! I'm not crazy, but no one will ever believe me. I can't win now. I wish I would have never said anything to Charlie and then I wouldn't be here.

"Bella there is a car waiting outside to take you to your new home. This isn't permanent it's just until you get better." said the doctor.

I walked slowly out to the car. I was in complete shock. This couldn't actually be happening could it? When they put me in the car and shut the door the last thing I saw was Charlie standing there crying. How could I have done this to him?

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**So there it is! Hope you liked it and please review!**


	3. Fall to Pieces

**I am sorry it has taken me so long to update this. But tonight I decided to sit down and write and the result of that was this chapter. I think this is the first time I have ever written an entire chapter in one sitting. I want to thank every one of you who read this story and review. It makes me happy to know that I am not just writing this for no one but me.**

**Anyway so here is chapter 3: Fall To Pieces, a song by Avril Lavigne.**

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I opened my eyes to another day. I was in a room with only a bed, a chair, and a window. I slowly got up from my bed to go sit in the chair. I pulled my knees up against my chest and looked out the window at the rising sun. A tear slipped down my check and more followed.

A short knock came at the door and then it opened. The doctor came over to me, put his hand on my forehead, and checked my pulse. This was a daily occurrence and after being here for six months I had learned not to fight it. The doctor gave me an anxiety pill to take and said he would check on me later.

When I was sure I was alone I walked over to my bed and knelt down so that I could crawl under it. I reached for the loose floorboard there, gave it a shake, and it opened for me. I reached into it and pulled out a tiny box. I kept my pills in here. I would only take them at night when I wanted to feel numb. The rest of the day I dealt with my demons as they came. Not wanting to forget, not wanting to remember.

Later they brought my lunch, and then dinner after that. Other than those short visits, I was alone every hour of every day. Just as I had asked to be. When the sun went down and there was nothing to look at outside but city lights I crawled into bed. Tonight I had decided not to take my pill. The pain hadn't been as bad today. I wanted to get better. I want to leave this place, and if I can learn to handle the pain they might set me free.

I was standing in a dark room. There was only one light, a candle. It looked like it was floating in mid air, but it had to have been resting on something. I started to walk towards the candle but stopped. Music started to flow through the room, enveloped by the darkness. The music was coming from the direction of the candle. It was like nothing I had ever heard before. It was beautiful and yet awful at the same time because of the sadness in the music. I was drawn to it, a feeling like nothing I had ever experienced before.

I started to walk again towards the music, and with every step I took a candle would catch fire. The room starting to take on a glow, the darkness slowly disappearing. I started to walk faster and as I did the music changed, and stopped me dead in my tracks. This song I had heard before. I million times before. I knew it by heart. A song I held so close and dear in my heart. Something I had never shared with anyone. It was my lullaby. The one he had wrote for me.

The thought of seeing him awoke all the wounds in my heart. It started to beat again, to come back to life. I ran will full force towards what I now knew was a piano. My heart beating strongly in my chest. More and more candles sparked as I ran. The room was starting to become bright now, and I could see him. His shadow sitting at the piano moving rhythmically with the music. His face glowing in the light, almost sparkling, the way it did in the sun.

As I approached him he didn't stop playing. He turned his head to face me and smiled a crooked smile. My breath caught in my throat. I sat down beside him on the piano bench to keep from fainting. He continued to play until the piece was finished. Then he turned to me, taking my hands in his. He looked up into my eyes, his smoldering mine, forcing me to look away from the tension.

When I looked back at him he spoke, very softly. His voice a sad version of what I remembered.

"Bella," he breathed. "oh how I have missed you so."

"Edward, I thought," I broke off to try to calm myself." I though that you didn't love me." I turned my head away so that he wouldn't see me crying, even though I knew he had and turning away from him was useless.

"Bella, I have always loved you, and I always will. But my love I am afraid I must go now."

"What? You can't leave me. Edward I won't live through it if you leave me again." I sobbed.

He touched my cheek and sighed. Then he was gone.

"Edward?" I said panicked.

"Edward?!" more loudly this time.

"Edward!!!??" I screamed.

The whole room starting shaking and I couldn't breath. I keep calling his name but he never answered me. The room slowly started to fade from my view, and I could feel two strong hands holding onto my shoulders.

"Edward!?" I cried, but it wasn't Edward who answered me.

"Nurse I think we are going to have to sedate her. Please bring my a fresh syringe." I heard the doctor say, while holding me down as I was thrashing about in bed.

"No Edward!!! Come back!!!!!!" I screamed.

Seconds later I felt a sharp pain in my leg. Slowly I started to calm down. I felt ill at ease even though I could still see his face, pained and perfect.

"There you go honey." said the Nurse. "That's better isn't it? Now you get some sleep and the Doctor will be back in the morning to check on you."

I heard the door shut and I knew I was alone. A cold draft had crept into the room. I didn't want to fall back asleep and relive the nightmare. I slowly stood up and went to sit in my chair by the window. I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my head down. Slowly rocking back and forth, letting the tears fall.

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**So I hope everyone liked this chapter! I think it is my best chapter so far! I am very happy with it. So please remember to review the story! It is very much appreciated!**


	4. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

As you can all tell it's been almost a year since I have written anything for fanfiction. First of all let me say that I am very sorry for my very long absence and for leaving you all hanging. Second seeing as it has been a while, a few things have changed. My personality has changed, my life has dramatically changed, and most importantly, my writing style has changed. I promise you though the writing changed for the better.

When I first started writing fanfiction I was 12 and I didn't have any idea how to write. Now I'm 15 and I've been through honors English classes and it has changed my ways. So, where does this leave all of my stories? Well for _Heaven Help Us _the news isn't good. I had forgotten what I had written so I had to go back and read it myself. Upon doing so I realized how badly the story was written and how poorly the plot was composed. So if I start to write again (which some of you will be glad to know I do plan on doing so) the story will change. I can't go back and rewrite _A New Beginning _from the start and I don't want to. But I haven't gotten very far in _HHU _so that one I can redo. I am thinking about posting the existing chapters in a separate story section entitled _Rough Draft_ or something like that. So I plan on coming up with a new angle for the story and in turn changing the outcome. Now if I was horribly mean I could keep Bella out of the story all together, but I can't do that to the readers or to myself. So in conclusion Bella will still be there, but things will happen a bit differently.

With _Neurotically Yours _I plan to keep the original chapters and write from there. I like the way I have things arranged for that story and I don't want to go back and change it. I also don't have many readers for that story, so it will be updated less than my more read stories.

**Closing thoughts**:

There is one more option that I could do. I could right an alternate ending to _ANB _and not continue _Heaven Help Us. _If I did continue _HHU_ it wouldn't be updated often because I don't have a plot for it and I don't know where I'm going to go with it. If I did decided to write an alternate ending and scrape _HHU_ I would start a new Twilight Saga themed story, most likely based from Breaking Dawn and as a continuation to the story line in my new form of writing and with a more developed plot line. So knowing this I'm asking you guys to tell me what you think about that idea and which one you would rather have me do. Review so that I can decide please.

HOUSE OF WOLVES WILL STAY THE SAME AND WILL MOST LIKELY NOT BE UPDATED ANY TIME SOON.

Hope you all are doing well!

-Charlotte


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